Cat Litter Epiphany

I came to an odd conclusion the other day and it all started with a piece of blue cat litter.

I recently started cleaning my house more. Not in the realm of As Good As It Gets type of stuff, just regular things most normal people do I suppose. Which brings me to squatting naked in the shower wiping down the walls. Now keep in mind I had finished cleaning pretty much and there really should be nothing left but there it was right in front of me. A piece of blue cat litter. Now I have a cat who does play, not pee I check, in the shower so such a thing is not beyond the scope of reason. What I did with this small bit of seeming nothingness disturbed me a bit after I realized I should have stopped myself at some point. But this is what happened.

I tend to skip the obvious and try to rationalize the fringes of rationale. Sure, the cat may have put it there by accident but that just flew by before I could eat it with my mind. I thought perhaps it could be more than a piece of cat litter. What if it were an errant piece of an accidental misinterpretation of a legal process that may or may not exist somewhere far far away that could affect me more than I could ever know.

Didn’t even slow down with it. It made sense that in heaven there is a lawyer, that got past the goalie to speak, and is earning his keep doing pro bono work for people that never knew they needed it in the first place.

This is just a for instance but I needed to validate the science of my own thoughts. Say a guy is trapped in a elevator and in his dismay formulates a plan that calls for him to appeal to the lord for specifically, a duck with a phillips head beak and a size 12 golf cleat.

Now it would be the attorney’s job to represent the idiot in the elevator not to get him out of the situation without abusing his limited direct intervention face time with the lord.

The attorney might say something like this: “Yes lord, my client is not in his right mind as you can see. He panicked. Please don’t hold this against him or grant these prayers.”

The lord may answer thusly: “Hmmm. You may have a point. There are far too many of these beings walking around. This is a waste of both our respective time. Perhaps I should cut the cable and see who sticks there head in there to see what the noise is. That would kill to or maybe more birds with one stone.”

“No lord. We’re not on the same wavelength here. I don’t think you need to kill anyone. I just think my client may need real help in the future or, now I’m just free associating here, he may have a deeply benevolent thought.”

“Are you sure? Because your last client wished for a piece of blue cat litter and you had no such thoughts.”

Attorney winces a bit, “Well that’s not entirely true. I just didn’t speak fast enough and did manage to grab your hand as you tossed down there. The blue cat litter didn’t even get to the right place so it didn’t count. I don’t know where it went but some poor bastard is dealing with both our misjudgments.”

Now that may not be where the cat litter came from but it occurred to me that it was more than likely not where it came from. I decided at that moment I should probably go with my first instinct more often than not no matter what the consequences.