"No quiero níquel ni quiero plata: yo lo que quiero es romper la piñata." “I don’t want nickel/I don’t want silver I only want to break the piñata…”Today is little Jimmy’s ninth birthday party. All his friends are gathered at his well integrated, sublime suburban home. A modest spread awaits their appetites consisting of four kinds of pizza, both flavored and plain rippled chips, three varieties of humus, eight liters of soda and frosting laden cookie the size of a tire. A mound of hand-wrapped gifts covers a table in the corner. Right now, the party is centered around the action in the middle of the living room where the couch and coffee table have been pushed out of the way for safety. The kids cheer wildly as Jimmy’s mother hands him a three foot long dowel rod a full inch and a half in diameter. A complementary sleep mask from Southwest Airlines is placed over his eyes. His mother spins him several times for full disorientation. From the end of a string attached to the ceiling hangs a paper mache bust of Shrek. It looks like a tacky float from an all midget parade. Jimmy starts to swing violently at the air. The game has begun.
What’s wrong with this picture?
Should this innocent celebration of life incorporate one of the most ruthless aspects of human sacrifice spawned by an ancient civilization? Before you decide, examine a brief history of the poorly conceived piñata.
The Mayan’s use of human sacrifice in their rituals is widely known. In one instance, twenty thousand people were extinguished in a week-long melee of blood and gore. History views such events as barbaric but in their defense, I can only say ‘you had to be there’. Amazingly, the origin of the piñata comes from this once barbaric race thanks to the little known god of dysentery whose name is unpronounceable but is easily translated into English as “Source of the Ass Fount”—hereto referred to as Fount.
Fount was blamed for the rampant seasonal outbreaks of explosive dysentery among the Mayans. His appearance coincided with the rainy season which in truth widened the breeding grounds for the parasites that caused the real problem. Those suffering from a visitation by Fount would appeal to the chief healer for relief. The healer would then decide upon the severity of the situation and if bad enough would call for a Pishazza or as we say Piñata. The pishazza was not a vessel filled with festive treats but person selected by the healer from the stockpiles of future sacrifices.
The pishazza would be adorned with many colored flowers and leaves. This was not for decoration but due to the fact that the Mayans though considered barbaric still liked to have a sense of home décor and used the various colored flora to clean themselves after elimination. It apparently felt good and the variety of colors went with the theme of the area designated for such activities.
Fires were lit just after sunset and the pishazza was strung up by his or her heels over a stone basin. The affected person was blindfolded and handed a lightweight sword. He would then swing until the the blood of the pishazza filled the basin hopefully banishing the evil Fount. The skull of the sacrifice was then cleaned and adorned with tiny tiles and placed over the door of the infected person's hut.
It is unknown how this tradition started but with a few modifications I believe we can reinstate the essence of the original idea.
First line the present day piñata with plastic rendering it waterproof. Next, fill the cavity not with candy but the exact list of the following:
One raw cow-heart
Three feet room temperature chitlins
Five whole chicken livers
Two pounds of tripe
One quart of pig’s blood
One large can vegetable soup (not condensed)
One Snickers bar, wrapped (for the hell of it)
It is suggested that this be done outside for obvious reasons.
Capture the moment on video because the reaction of a dozen or so nine year olds when one of them effectively kills Spiderman or Shrek is as the Visa ads say ‘priceless’.
What’s wrong with this picture?
Should this innocent celebration of life incorporate one of the most ruthless aspects of human sacrifice spawned by an ancient civilization? Before you decide, examine a brief history of the poorly conceived piñata.
The Mayan’s use of human sacrifice in their rituals is widely known. In one instance, twenty thousand people were extinguished in a week-long melee of blood and gore. History views such events as barbaric but in their defense, I can only say ‘you had to be there’. Amazingly, the origin of the piñata comes from this once barbaric race thanks to the little known god of dysentery whose name is unpronounceable but is easily translated into English as “Source of the Ass Fount”—hereto referred to as Fount.
Fount was blamed for the rampant seasonal outbreaks of explosive dysentery among the Mayans. His appearance coincided with the rainy season which in truth widened the breeding grounds for the parasites that caused the real problem. Those suffering from a visitation by Fount would appeal to the chief healer for relief. The healer would then decide upon the severity of the situation and if bad enough would call for a Pishazza or as we say Piñata. The pishazza was not a vessel filled with festive treats but person selected by the healer from the stockpiles of future sacrifices.
The pishazza would be adorned with many colored flowers and leaves. This was not for decoration but due to the fact that the Mayans though considered barbaric still liked to have a sense of home décor and used the various colored flora to clean themselves after elimination. It apparently felt good and the variety of colors went with the theme of the area designated for such activities.
Fires were lit just after sunset and the pishazza was strung up by his or her heels over a stone basin. The affected person was blindfolded and handed a lightweight sword. He would then swing until the the blood of the pishazza filled the basin hopefully banishing the evil Fount. The skull of the sacrifice was then cleaned and adorned with tiny tiles and placed over the door of the infected person's hut.
It is unknown how this tradition started but with a few modifications I believe we can reinstate the essence of the original idea.
First line the present day piñata with plastic rendering it waterproof. Next, fill the cavity not with candy but the exact list of the following:
One raw cow-heart
Three feet room temperature chitlins
Five whole chicken livers
Two pounds of tripe
One quart of pig’s blood
One large can vegetable soup (not condensed)
One Snickers bar, wrapped (for the hell of it)
It is suggested that this be done outside for obvious reasons.
Capture the moment on video because the reaction of a dozen or so nine year olds when one of them effectively kills Spiderman or Shrek is as the Visa ads say ‘priceless’.
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